still gone

no longer in your world
memories of it all
smells
tastes
power
pain

so many miles i will never tread again
yours i miss the most
left by the wayside
dung-heap
cast aside
shunned freak in the circus

how long will your ghost stay here
with me
sleep is my only escape
dreams
taunting the dawn
only to be without

in silence i watch

she wanted to be bound
controlled
punished
fucked

it started out primal
like two dogs lost in the dumpster world
sniffing
licking

after it grew beyond
blood up
biting
howling

in the bleary wine soaked hours
we unlearned everything we knew
about passion
pain
love

under my hand
bound
gagged
rape of the willing
she fell

now my hands
without purpose
drift on seeking
yearning
for the sear

the late

dark
the late hours

damp skin
mattress
wine dried with sweat
cum

she unwraps her hands
and wraps them around me

i curl against her naked
haven after the space

how long will she be here
how many more times

spring ushered under howling winds
slamming branches
torn flesh
ragged breath

sight

i miss the fuck.
the knife
at your throat
with begged whisper

hair sweated
teeth full of blood
stinking of wine
eyes glitter in the blade

nameless gods conjured
black spells barked
hands bound
unlike your heart

dragged through the dirty room
air heavy with perfume
baseboard heat
vodka

stripped on your knees
i peer over my stained gut
into your gleaming eyes
blind

your throat
wanting to be choked
the loveless ransom
and silent approval

missed

between the sheets of rain
in long nights
on brutal days
i long

hear that whisper
eyes glued
movements unknown
daring to be seen

in my mind
all i see
never touch
did i ever

so many roads broken
charred with pain
only being alive
not really living

answer when you call
finally in the din
what do you hear
would you listen

Awake in the time of martyrs.

Awake in the time of martyrs.

Everyday there is a new battle. New lies from old tongues.

At the end I stand heaped in bile, spittle with the reeking stench of bubble-gum.

I push through the thudding weight of the powerless egos of the soul-less mob brandishing rusted knives of deceit.

Days of now, new foes have crept of out the shadows of their muddied faces only to show their true bestial visage. Worms. Pustulous speeches and rants gurgle from their diseased maw only to sting my ears like the flies from their backs.

Clamoring for attention and recognition I stand aside from their loping gait - awaiting the true circus of calamities and vanity.

May you all join in me in their fall for it is a long way down.

It is all I can do.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

of sour grapes and wrath

of sour grapes and wrath

the lies you live
the ones you hide
running from yourself
the circus never left town

watch your finger
pointing at you
tongues ensnared
no sanctuary for little people

mouth cracked like the tower
never at the top
looking down
i've always looked through

beauty with no reflection cast
just the withered husk
holding to worms
for empathy

a shut door
then a blur
i walk the storm
cleansed

"Man creates his own God, his own devil, his own heaven and his own hell. This is your hell." - The Masque of the Red Death

Friday, August 15, 2008

7.2.08

you once told me
that it was easy to make you happy
love you
and that it didn't take much
so many had so much trouble

how is it that it's hard for me
to make you happy
love you
now that you've taken it all
and left me once again

lost

wandering inside my mind
wondering where you are
if you really were next to me
in the hot night

look down and your gone
a dream awaken to the nightmare
pain of you
without you


black gardens choke life
of all who step off the path
baked in sunlit tombs
demons walk where an angel flew

drunk on you
my sweetest hangover
on my mind and my skin
i shutter at your voice

lost among the flies
feast setting is ruin
crimson sheets reign
with spilt wine never to taste

passed life

in the green pool
waiting to be dragged
down to the bottom
the concrete shore

under the candlelight
the lies flicker
as the wax melts
time as stone

night blows
the blood dry
cools the sweat
hiding the tears

now cast out
aside for all to laugh
and point
the destruction

days of uncertainty
dry tongue
parched on your skin
full of your waste

running hours
instead of listening
another lifetime
to lose you again

The Demon

The ritual is over
The altar has been cleansed
Knives scrubbed of remains
Augers unheeded

My bonds are broken
Ties severed
Wrists creased from your lies
I leave the pulpit, scorched

Out
Again into the jungle fire
Living to the next
Summoned for a cause lost

Chalked circles melt away
Singed fur
Bloodied lips
Swollen tongue
Never to tatse again

April 1, 2008

No more nightmares
Past like leftovers
Stinking the fridge
Left to be paid for
Mistakes of others

Sleep after the pain
Quiet tomb in sheets of gold
Under crying skies
Flowers husked by warm hands
Nutured

Awoken to the deft looks
Dreary eyes